As I write this in celebration of the beginning of February which I always designate as self love month, I think of the late Chesley Kryst. Of course I don’t know or fully understand what led up to her ending her life. But what she shared in her Allure magazine article said so much about how this world can affect our inner peace, and ultimately our self love. My message is and always has been to love yourself, no matter what everyone else is saying, accomplishing, or thinking. All that really matters is how you feel about you. May we all be a little more tolerant, more accepting, kinder and sweeter to ourselves not just this month, but every single day.
What can you do to nurture a healthy love relationship with yourself this month? Here are my 10 favorite acts of self love.
- Detox your world. Your tv show choices, the people you spend the most time with, the songs you listen to are all feeding your mind and spirit. The words that you read, hear, and speak are super powerful. Make sure they are nourishing your mind.
- Watch your own words. Be mindful of everything you say after “I am”. Only follow those two words with positive, kind and powerful words. If you don’t believe that you are the positive words that you speak, either say them until you do believe them, or get in the mirror and say “you are”. Check out my affirmations video for some inspiration.
- Listen to your body. Your body tells you when the foods you’re eating aren’t healthy even when you act like you don’t know or care. Make loving choices that properly fuel your body and lengthen your life. If you make your food choices not based on taste, but based on self love, you will be so much happier and healthier in the long run.
- Listen to your spirit. She tells you when she’s ready to leave the party, the job, the relationship. She guides you to make the right choices, protects your safety, your peace, and your life. Making a habit of listening to your inner voice/spirit shows her that you respect her and allows you to be able to hear from her more clearly.
- Accept yourself. There will be things that others don’t like about you. Don’t let them become things that you don’t like about yourself. Make sure your inner voice speaks kindly to you, even when you are working on changing things about yourself that you choose to change.
- Enjoy the moment. Let go of the past. Forgive and move on. Seek counseling if you have trouble letting go. Visualizing a wonderful future is healthy. Stressing about it is not. Let go of worry about tomorrow, as it is a complete waste of your powerful mental energy. Again, seek counseling if you have trouble in this area. Therapy is a wonderful form of self love.
- Enforce your boundaries. Most of the time our peace is disrupted because we haven’t set or enforced healthy boundaries.Nobody is going to like your boundaries but you. That just means you have set and maintained good boundaries. It’s when we enforce our boundaries that we command respect and protect our peace. Your peace is your responsibility. So protect it by any means necessary.
- Don’t take it personally. When others behave in a way that disrupts your peace, it may not even be about you. That post you read, that person who spoke to you rudely, whatever the case, it probably had nothing to do with you. Protect your peace and don’t assume someone else’s azzhole behavior was because of you. If they aren’t adult enough to talk to you and let you know you’ve done something to offend them, it’s not about you. It’s about them.
- Treat yourself to some goodies. Is there something out there that you’ve hoped someone else would gift you? Make a Well Diva move and gift yourself! Last year for Valentine’s Day I treated myself to some beautiful preserved roses (hella expensive but I still have them a year later) and it really made me feel good, and for a long time. I still see those roses and smile. Sometimes we spend so much time and money giving to others to ensure they are happy (spouse, kids, etc.). Take this month to do the same for you.
- Be kind to yourself. Show yourself some patience and understanding. It’s okay to make mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow. It’s okay to fall as long as you get back up. It’s not too late to start over or even start something new! Accept and give compliments to yourself. Pour out the love on yourself like you would want someone else to do for you. Remember, you’re just showing them how it’s done.
We have so much to celebrate this month. Black History, Self Love, Valentine’s Day, my birthday, and life itself. May you enjoy many healthy ways to celebrate love in your life this month.
